Dear Shawn995:

You wrote that you shared here, on this thread so that you “imay get atleast a little perspective in my life”- I will offer you a different perspective on two items, for your consideration and evaluation:

You shared that you argued a lot with your mother when you were a kid. You wrote: “i was really hard to deal with id at home”-

a different perspective: your mother was the one hard to deal with at home. She was the problem.

You wrote that in school, while you suffered from significant anxiety and depression, you “tried not to show it when im at school i always laughed, made jokes just, everyone liked me”. About your present life, you wrote: “everybody in my circle of friends know their jobs well and they enjoy their lifes, they enjoy afterwork beer, they enjoy sunny days, music, everything.” –

a different perspective: everybody may be trying not to show their anxiety and depression, just like you did. They may not be having the great lives you think they do. Just like people believed you were happy while you were not.

And now my comments: living away from home was the right choice for you. It wasn’t perfect, far from it, I understand, but it was the way better choice than living at home, with your mother. And so, you are experiencing a worsening in your well being. There is no substitute to what you need to do next, I believe, and that is to move away from your mother/ grandmother’s home, never to return to their home.

Healing/ getting better, I believe, is not possible in that home because it is in that home where the anxiety and depression originated and maintained.

Post again anytime and take best care of yourself.

anita