Hi Anita,

Thanks for your response. I guess a big part of my knows that my relationship is more important than what society thinks but I can’t seem to turn off this mental conditioning that makes me want to get married. I am trying to be patient and give him the time he needs to feel ready, and working with him to resolve our issues. And he does say he feels like he’s getting closer to it all the time and that everything we do now is an investment in the future of our relationship, which I do believe. But sometimes I can’t help falling into negative thinking, like am I just fooling myself? I’ve waited 3 years for him to propose, we’ve been together for 10. But is he ever really going to be ready? Should I just end things and try to find someone that already wants a marriage and kids even if it is not this man, who I love so much. What if I left him and never found anyone else who I loved as much? But then What if my marriage obsession makes me throw away a wonderful, respectful, healthy relationship just because he didn’t want to get married. If I didn’t care about being married to him I think we would have just carried on happily and one day have started a family etc when we were ready and at that part in life. We are committed in many ways already (as we joint own the flat and our lives are entwined) so does getting married even matter? Why has this desire to get married and plan my future taken over my life? How can I get over this obsession sand focus on what’s important?