Dear Scott:

You wrote that your girlfriend is “sometimes snappy and can be moody (mostly in a short-tempered way)”. Similar, in this regard, to your stepmother who was “extremely critical and snappy about specific things”, correct?

When you were five or six, and you were “always scared of her (stepmother’s) due to her criticism and negative feedback”, you didn’t think, because of your age and position in the family, to say to your stepmother something like: your criticism and negative feedback really scares me, distresses me. Will you consider no longer criticizing me and giving me negative feedback? I would really appreciate it.”

On the other hand you can say something like that to your girlfriend. If she understand the affect her snappiness and moodiness has on you, maybe she will be motivated to change this behavior, do you think?

anita