WOW just described my mother to a T.  But I will say as time has moved on she changed.  She finally realized that we are all now adults that her opinion and advice are just that hers.   Keeping our distance and establishing the boundaries  made her  realize that she does not own us anymore.  Hurt, oh it did, no doubt about it the periods of no talking, no visits and being on the “*#@! list all six kids went thru it.  I learned to phrase things in a manner that did not ask for her advice or her approval.  She was typically the last to know what went on in my life until after it had past and I still practice the same with her.  But she raised us to be independent.  I think it was her dependence on us all she knew.