Elana, so you mean by not given freely that it is faked, or mimicked? Perhaps just provide the imbalance for a short time, that would be my position on it, and in order to test whether your unconditional nature is present with them.  Sometimes an imbalance might be required in order to support a sole that has had too much taken from them in past life.  Bare in mind though, where emotion plays a part significant imbalance tends to hurt.  Hurting a little many times likely tends towards being character strengthening, but a few times considerably more likely character undermining.