Hi Anita,

Thank you for writing back. Your question gives me alot to think about. Maybe it is because I don’t know anything other than intensity, chaos, turbulence. Maybe, I felt I would be unfulfilled with a healthy relationship with a nice man, because I would be bored, since all I knew was instability.

Also, it didn’t help, that when I lost my car and am on disability started meeting toxic unhealthy men online such as Facebook and Google Plus, or maybe I don’t know what healthy means in spite of therapy. Very confused right now, but all I know is that I did play a part in choosing these wrong men whether in person or online, and my illness and poor coping skills at the time could not handle difficulty. I wish I knew the answer.