anita,

Sure, that definitely works for me.  I will just share some general information and what I feel comfortable sharing.  So:

The first thing that comes to mind: With my relationship with my mother… I didn’t quite have a healthy one.  My parents got divorced when I was eight or nine, and I mostly lived with my mother from that age until I was about 14.  She wasn’t around very much and extra difficulty was introduced when I was expected to take care of one of my younger brothers who had/s cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair.  I took responsibility often among my other siblings because my brother’s twin was usually with his friends as was my older sister.  The only times I really saw my mother were in the morning very briefly, but usually she was gone and I had to make my own breakfast; and after school (this was in middle school) when we would see each other briefly yet again and she’d go somewhere or go do something.  We would go out sometimes, but we never really did things kids would want to do.  Usually, it was just running errands for her or going to a class for singing or gymnastics or something.  She still isn’t very involved in my life despite my efforts to explain how I would like her to be more involved, and she has never understood that she abandoned us kids in a lot of ways.  She explains that she was just looking out for herself so she could pay the bills.

That is the main thing that comes to mind.  Fortunately, I’ve been able to have healthy conversations expressing the hurt I felt as a child with my father.  He understands the times he especially hurt me and has taken to hearing me out to express my feelings.  He has apologized for these times and, as I said, is kind and caring now, allowing me freedom to be myself and discover things on my own.

steph