Dear sunseeker1:

You are very welcome. I know how difficult it is to change habits so ingrained in the brain. I struggle with a lifetime of overeating myself. I went as far as developing anorexia at the age of forty so to undo weight gain of five years, at that point. I succeeded but at a very high price of incredible anxiety (not recommended!)

Yes, I know how difficult it is. Last evening I ate only three small pieces of a chicken dish after my vegetables, what a pleasure it was to eat just a little of something, made me feel very good. The next morning, the overeating is pushing its way through, as it does every day.

It takes an incredible amount of patience and perseverance. It is working for me very, very… slowly.

I also understand being focused on a person who is not good for you- our emotions, despair, when intense, are very powerful. And when we feel powerless to withstand distress, we do whatever needs to be done to feel better, quickly, any which way.

I call the kind of patience it takes to change ineffective and/ or destructive habits, I call that kind of patience “excruciating patience”-because that is what it takes. That and gentleness with oneself. When you feel horrible and hating yourself when you eat junk food, that is not being gentle with yourself. I am still practicing this (with … excruciating patience), practicing empathy for myself instead of being critical and angry at myself.

I had this self-empathetic thought recently regarding the origin of my overeating habit: I suffered so much in life, no wonder I got attached to something sweet, something tasting good. I sure needed a break from my ongoing misery and distress.

It is empathy that will work for you, for the purpose of acting for your benefit, NOT self disapproval, anger and hate.

I hope to read more of your thoughts and feelings any time you are inclined to share them.

anita