Anita,

I can’t agree with you more; you are 100% correct. I should have never encouraged her to restore her relationship with her father. It’s ironic that this is the thing he is accusing me of NOT doing. I regret it wholeheartedly, and although she felt as though he was making breakthroughs for about a year or two and they were starting to get along, it’s clear to me now that I shouldn’t have encouraged it to go further. It is obviously way too much, too soon.

She has agreed to reconnect with her old therapist who had great insights about her parental relationships. She is also going to ask to attend therapy with her mother to address this further. I actually quoted what you said, which a lot of my support network has reaffirmed:

“there is no hope for your partner to heal (unless she is very motivated over a long, long time, willing to cut contact with her father, attends serious, quality psychotherapy and do the ton of work required), and there is nothing you can do to help her. After all, you tried and failed”

You are really on point about this. She says she is willing to do the work and I want to give her the chance to do so. But I am also mindful that this may be the last effort to make this work. Thank you for giving me the clarity I need to get through this time. I’m gently returning to a peaceful state now. Couldn’t be more thankful for my own dedication to a spiritual practice.

I hope you are well Anita, thank you. I appreciate you.