Hi, Lisa,

I just wanted to share my observations with you.

You surely know the saying, “The beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Somebody else said (I think it was Leo Tolstoy) that we are loved by X not because we are so smart, beautiful, intelligent, kind, etc., but because X is smart, beautiful, intelligent, kind, etc.

I find this more and more to be true.

The reason for a man to stop interaction with a woman after two weeks and lots of excitement and promises, for another man to stop interaction after what seemed to be more of a friendly and stable relationship of six months and for still another to want to see her consistently lies mostly with the man, not with the woman (provided that she is stable and aware of what she wants and what she is doing).

Likewise, the reason for the very same woman to find one of the disappearing men more attractive than the one who keeps on being eager to see her, lies with the woman, and she would need to inspect closely what it is and why it is so.

There are a few stories even here, on Tiny Buddha, where people have been actively searching for a partner and after lots of trials (I believe dreaming715 had dates with 27 men before she found her current boyfriend) did find it. Anita highly recommends online dating. I did some research and can tell that a partner can be found almost anywhere anytime – starting with online dating and vacations in a different country to meeting through one’s family, friends, places of study, work or hobbies (these are most common and most reliable ways) to even running into a partner on a parking lot of a store.

One more observation that I am sure you can relate to. I know a few women, whom I admire and feel affinity for. Guess what – some of them have been single all the lives, some are happily married, some have an on and off relationship with their partner and some are divorced because their husbands had left them for somebody else. And the opposite is true – I am sure you have met some women and thought that there was no way they could be married – just look at what b***s they are – and yet, they are. And their husbands adore them. Or maybe not. Or they are indeed single. It does seem to be all in the psychological issues of those who are with or around them/us or in us if we are with or around somebody (good or bad for us).

And finally, when I talked about this to two well-grounded male friends of mine, one of them said, “You just haven’t found him yet”, and the other’s response was, “Have patience, everything will come.”

So my takeout is that nothing is guaranteed, it is all up to the chance, but we need to do all in our power to increase those chances (if we want it). This “patience” must be proactive, yet comfortable for us.

Anyway, just my two cents.

Take care,

X