H,

There is some amazing advice in these responses to your question.

If I may add, begin to Forgive Yourself. When you start to hear your inner critic, go silent, breathe.  Acknowledge in that moment that you have these negative thoughts, but just observe don’t interact with them. Then forgive yourself for those negative thoughts.  You will not silence that inner critic any time soon but in time it won’t take center stage. I would suggest (if you are not already) meditation.  There are a number of resources that have guided meditations that will help you learn to accept yourself…all perfect in your imperfectness 🙂

It sounds as if you are keeping yourself busy, with teaching workshops, learning a new language, and weight lifting. Continue to find activities and hobbies that make you happy because that is what will attract love into your life.  It is hard and cliche but the minute you stop looking for something (love) that is when you will find it.

Just know that you are not alone in your personal criticisms, feelings of being lost, and wanting to find love. All we can do is be here to help support each other.