Dear Lisa:

On the first day of your thread, May 1, 2017, you wrote: ” I am female and 48 years old. I have never had a relationship. I have always longed for one. Every day since I was a teen I have imagined being in relationships… I have prayed, wished for, read books to find my soulmate but like my father he never came to me….It feels like men hate me ..Why do men hate me so much?”

Your biological father didn’t hate you. He didn’t visit you because your mother’s family hated him. On May 2, you wrote: “my mother’s family did not like my father. I understand there was a huge fight when he came around to see me and was told to stay away from me” and on June 20, you wrote: “I was told he (your father) fought to see me when I was a baby and he was around but eventually was told by my mother’s family to stay away.”

Hate kept your father away.

On July 2, you wrote: “I appreciate everyone who has posted but have you noticed no men have? They just don’t care” and July 7, you wrote: “I could have bet money that men wouldn’t post on my thread.”

Your clear and tangible hate for all men is keeping men from posting on your thread. And it is the same hate that is keeping men out of your life.

May 27, you wrote: “I am a good person but often become resentful and angry” – you get hateful. On May 13 you wrote that you are “too honest, too opinionated”- yes, you are very honest and very outspoken to men about your hate toward them, and this is why they stay away. At times you may be nice, at first, but soon enough you express to them your hate in no uncertain terms.

July 7, you wrote: “I know a man that I have to interact with everyday who never initiates a conversation with me because of a bit of truth I gave him in October”- that bit of truth was a bit of your hate. Understandably he does not initiate a conversation with you because he doesn’t want to experience more of your hate.

June 14, you wrote: “I have seen women who brought many problems to relationships and yet someone loved them. I don’t understand why he doesn’t come along.” People do not volunteer to experience being hated, this is why “he doesn’t come along”.

You hate all men, not only the rich and powerful men, but also men who have never experienced the advantage of their gender. You even hate men who speak for fairness and justice for women; June 19, you wrote: “even the few men who know intellectually the value of feminity still objectify women. They just don’t brag about it and even speak out against it.  They too put women in categories socially but intellectually speak as if we are all worthwhile…You think some men are enlightened and it turns out they are not”.

So no man is excluded from your hate.

Thing is, it is not only men that you hate. You also hate women whom you refer to as worthwhile, or “the worthies”, that is, women who love and or are loved by men (May 1: “I get upset and resentful. Especially at married women and women who seem to get all kinds of attention for doing almost nothing”)

This leaves only the women in “the unworthies” category free of your hate. But not if they do not hate men too and clearly express it to men (June 25: “I wish other women were as strong as I am and didn’t let them (men) get away with everything they get away with. They are weak”)

June 23, you wrote: “I don’t know if men hate me or I hate them…I am looking for the answer of why men haven’t pursued me”-

I answered your question.

anita