Dear Joe:

Your poem, The Experiment, was inspired by Mary Shelley’s famous Frankenstein. Your poem is a work of art. Once you share it, as you did, without commentary regarding what inspired you and what you meant, once you exhibit your art, the reader makes it his/ her own, as I have made it in my last post to you. Your poems are indeed, works of art.

Ode To The Beautiful Shiny Happy People

“a haze of neon signs * passing headlights * blaring dance music… * overpowered car exhausts…… the smell * of fried takeaway food * vomit * alcopops”- I can see it, hear it, smell it.

“…boys and girls of the night * swaggery * sneery *…slicked back hair * bloodshot eyes *….the girls * atomic peroxide * heavy make-up * vodka smiles *”- powerful images, multi-sensory descriptions.

This is another powerful poem. It describes so vividly the party life experience in a very unattractive way, repulsive, really, to the eyes, the ears, the nose. One can even taste the vodka, the vomit. You describe the unhealthy party lifestyle in no uncertain terms: it is diseased: fast food (fried takeaway food), alcohol (alcopops, vodka, chemical liquids), drugs (forbidden candy), lack of sleep (bloodshot eyes).

There is no quality human interaction, only competition (who is the loudest, funniest biggest, craziest). Life is “a neon-covered fantasy”- and so very unattractive.

Excellent poem, I say. Would be a great poem to teach in early high school, just before young people consider this lifestyle.

anita