Hi! Just so you know I think mental images and such are very common in abused victims. I too have endured intrafamiliar sexual abuse. I too, get obsessive thoughts that are very intrusive and I feel like a monster too. But as a victim you cannot blame yourself or like Anita said label it as good or bad. I am very sorry you feel this way because some days/nights I too feel like a complete monster and I am guilt ridden because of my abuse. I sometimes think it is my fault for what happened to me or I think well they didn’t know any better. Just know that I somewhat understand how you feel and I appreciate this post so much because now I know I am not the only one. I’m not sure what kind of abuse you went through but what made me feel better is looking up the facts about victims and such and it made me feel a lot better. I too, am considering therapy because I do not want this in the back of my mind anymore. I want strong healthy relationships with men, and I’ve realized that with most of my relationships that it is hard for me to trust, be intimate and so on with my boyfriends because of what happened when I was a very little girl and my innocence was taken.

I just wanted to comment because your post made me feel so much better and I hope my post made you feel better as well. I didn’t want to go into a lot of detail, but I want you to know you are not alone! Reach out and go seek professional help. I feel like this is the only way we will be able to heal these parts of ourselves because fighting alone is DAMN hard.

Bless you <3