Forum Replies Created
September 11, 2019 at 2:22 pm #311701
Hun go easy on yourself, college is such a hard transition. Maybe you could go to school full time and work part time? That’s what I do, I’d just like to let you know I am introverted and shy as well. Finding friends as well as a SO in college is hard, I have a lot of empathy for you there.
Something I wanted to say about your thoughts though, just observe them, don’t give your emotions a story or your thoughts belief. I saw a video on instagram once that helped picture your mind as the sky and your thoughts as clouds. Just let them pass without giving too much emotion or belief on them 🙂 Hope this helps. Things will get better soon!September 5, 2019 at 12:55 pm #310487
I appreciate the advice for when we are angry. I think a cold shower would really help him/us, I was also think that removing ourselves completely from this particular group is a good idea every time we are around them something happens sometimes with us but most the time there is something always going on with these guys they are toxic friends for both of us and that’s why I’ve kept my distance, limiting our alcohol intake or choosing not to discuss any of our troubles when we are under the influence of alcohol, and most importantly actively just working through our anger when it arises. Instead of reacting.September 5, 2019 at 12:26 pm #310479
Thank you for the reminder Anita, I completely agree with you there. I also like the suggestions those are really that simple to do.
My boyfriend grew up in a hostile home of name calling, and yelling and I know this has for sure affected the way he gets when he is hurt, he gets dramatic and angry. I grew up in a household of withdrawing, and anger.. so thus I withdraw.September 5, 2019 at 11:40 am #310467
I agree we can get a little more hostile than we normally would. And if I felt like our relationship wouldn’t progress I would leave it but seeing as we both love each other and keep trying to figure it out. I want to pursue this. We both love each other and refuse to let one another go, which makes it hard to let go. I have never been in this situation before and I know there is no right way to figure everything out but I can’t help the way I feel right now. Which is wanting to sort everything out. I’m grateful I reached out because now I know I think I know what I want and what do to going forward.September 5, 2019 at 10:36 am #310447
I’m going to think on this and get back to you.September 5, 2019 at 10:10 am #310433
It is almost always about insecurity or jealousy on either of our ends sadly. We both are that “type” and previously that day I had called him a hypocrite.. he tried to resolve things but I didn’t feel very supported in that. So I had dropped him off at his house to cool down and get my ish together.
I think communication is a big thing with us which really sucks. I try to communicate and be as rational as possible, but he will blow up on occasion (it’s never lead to a break up though.) And that is why I was trying to keep my distance in attempt to teach him that I’m not going to put up with the breaking up getting back together and breaking up thing. You’re either in or your out with me, but that is me.September 5, 2019 at 9:05 am #310415
Sorry that was confusing, a distant friend did that with him. And she didn’t tell me, nor did she. He finally told me what happened last week. Because it was eating him alive and he didn’t want me to hear it from anyone else.
But he was the one that broke up with me.September 5, 2019 at 8:35 am #310411
And it was from a distant friend of mine. Neither her nor him told me.September 5, 2019 at 8:35 am #310409
Yeah, he broke up with me though!
But I like these outlooks, I’m just really mad because, he was trying to contact me and inviting me wherever he was and he went out and did that. Even after he told me how much he needed me and missed me. There is a lot of elements that make me kind of mad but that’s one of them that’s the most upsetting.September 4, 2019 at 2:06 pm #310307
Anita I’d like your comments if you have any please!September 4, 2019 at 2:05 pm #310305
My reddit username is iloveplur23 🙂September 4, 2019 at 1:44 pm #310295
Aiyana I apprecaite your perspective on this it is a reminder that some people can get through things like this and some people can’t. Some of my closest friends have been able to, and others not. You have also given me a lot to think about.September 4, 2019 at 1:43 pm #310293
I love your refreshing out look on this Mark. I do agree with you there, we were broken up and he chose to do that. I’m not mad about that, I am mad because I specifically asked him when we got back together if anything had perspired and he said no. That’s just awful to me. I can tell you that I 100% did not do anything like that, I hung out with my friends and loved ones because I needed that type of support.
Is there a way I can personally DM you? I really like your view points and have more to say. But want to have a private conversation.June 28, 2019 at 10:49 am #301253
Thank you so much lovely! I truly appreciate your tolerance, I struggle with opening up about these things because most the time I get judgement from people about it. Or I get “Oh stop it! You’re beautiful youbhave x,y,z.” But that doesn’t help I constantly feel this hole inside of me that I want gone! It totally prevents me from feeling good about myself.June 28, 2019 at 10:33 am #301245
Marie, I enjoy this perspective of looking inward when being triggered but I get lost with it bit. Because it is quite obvious I guess why I normally get jealous of these girls, it is because they have a lot of the strengths that I personally am weak in. People in my life also seem to flock to them more, hang out with them more, and I think this just comes from a place where I don’t feel good enough socially. Like I don’t feel fun around them or open, in fact they make me hermit more than I normally am. I constantly struggle to be myself in social situations, because when I am around my good friends and feel good that is when I feel myself. Now I am just starting to think out loud..
But what I have also noticed is when someone is just doing their own thing and wishing other people well and minding their own business… they tend to attract others to their light too. Maybe that beautiful, carefree, messy, empathetic friend rubs you the wrong way, because she’s triggering a deep longing or desire in yourself you’re afraid to face?
This is what I try to do whenever I get a jealous or envious thought I try to wish them well in my mind. I try to pray for them. Again I think these types of people in my life are triggering a deep longing within myself I’m really just not sure what it is and it is really confusing when I think about it too long.