Dear Anita,

I can see what you mean as our anxiety in us human beings relates back to a biological drive in nature. We are programmed for fight or flight, some provoked more than others due to our encounters. I would agree that much of the anxiety we obtain comes from the anxiety of our parents and through the altering of our brain chemistry in our childhood experiences. I don’t believe that I was born overly anxious, just that I had the experiences to force my brain to alter itself in a way to protect me from danger. I have discovered this anxiety, as it surfaced a couple of years ago in its worst form, and I had to deal with it. Anxiety never goes away, it just changes shape and form. As of right now, it is latched onto my relationship, and has been before.

In terms of evaluating my emotions, how do I develop a base or set of guidelines for my uncalibrated emotions and perceptions? When is danger, danger? When is happy, really happy? Sometimes I have to think about what I’m feeling and maybe that leads me to confusion of my emotions, because I had to change my emotions as a child to present them in a way my parents would accept.

Scott