Dear Myles:

Your mother didn’t necessarily have it worse than your sister- how can one compare subjective experiences? As I wrote before, you didn’t feel less hurt when your father called you  names because of making a comparison between a beating with hoover pipes and being called names, correct? You didn’t have the experience of being beaten with hoover pipes to make the comparison! Same with your sister: she didn’t feel less hurt because she made this comparison: this is not so bad because my mother was sexually abused when she was a child.

There is no substitute for respect between people. If your parents treated their children with respect, that would have been something else! That would have been wonderful. The fact that they put food on the table is nice, but people need basic respect and when there is no respect, all the food in the world does not make it better, not at all.

anita