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bad decision making friend:(

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  • August 22, 2017 at 10:22 am #165120
    Liv
    Participant

    this is my first blog! but i have a friend who i normally judge. she makes a lot of decisions that i find controversial and often end up shutting her out for. a couple of nights ago i spent some time with her after taking a break from her. i forgot why i liked her at first- her helpfulness and thoughtfulness. even though i had not talked to her in months she got me a birthday gift. it made me really happy and it made me think of reasons why she possibly made those decisions. she has a lot of family and friend trouble so it’s a possibility she feels a lack of attention and therefore searches for it in other ways. i’m not justifying her behavior, but in the future, i don’t want to shut her out when she makes these decisions but talk to her and let her know she is not alone.

    August 22, 2017 at 11:25 am #165168
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liv:

    I hope you proceed to have a heathy, mutually beneficial friendship with your friend, one where the two of you practice the EAR principle: Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect.

    Often enough we don’t like what other people choose to do. It is up to you to decide whether you can live comfortably with another person’s choices while being in a friendship with that person. If you feel too uncomfortable with another’s choices, it is best to end the relationship. On the other hand, no one will operate in a way that will always satisfy us, always make us comfortable.

    anita

    August 22, 2017 at 1:58 pm #165184
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Liv,

    You state you “judge her” can you provide some examples? If she has been a good friend to you, I would not judge her based on her troubles with other people. Sometimes we never know all the truth. If she has been honest and not betrayed you, and if she has been a good listener and buys you a birthday present, it shows she cares about you, maybe not necessarily meaning she is an “attention seeker”..

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