Dear Ace:

You are welcome. I am glad you posted an update!

You asked: “How do they do that?”, “that” being able to know “exactly what to say to me to make (you) feel bad for him”-

You are already that tendency, that … mental habit, the inclination to feel badly for a person who you otherwise think does not deserve your empathy, I am thinking. It is like a button that you have, it is right there, he pressed it before, it worked for him, so he does it again. Identify that button yourself, maybe with the help of your counsellor, and you will be able to be more aware when it is pushed and choose your response from that increased awareness.

Any ideas as to that button? Perhaps an old (untrue) belief that you are guilty/ responsible for another’s misfortune or discontent, as if you caused it, when you didn’t?

anita