Dear Bigflowers:

The behaviors by your father that you listed are terrible, horrifying behaviors, horrifying abuses, Terrible to even read about them.

This is a lot of “inner turmoil for too long” that you have been carrying, and I understand you wanting to be free of it. Quality psychotherapy can be just the place to heal and be as free as possible for you.

You wrote that you loathe yourself for the fact that you are related to this man, that this man is your father. Thing is, he was not born this evil, this disgusting. It is not genetic, and so, you are not evil or disgusting yourself.

He was born most likely like any other baby, innocent and good, loving and lovable. Then things happened and he became the evil and disgusting person that he has become, and he did not take on healing in his life, so to correct his behavior.

You are not like him. Again, I sure hope you attend quality psychotherapy so that indeed, you will understand very well, that you are not like him.

Post again, anytime.

anita