Dear Victoria B:

The “constant negativity, arguments and emotional abuse I witnessed and experienced around my mum and sister” that is after the separation. Your mother is responsible for this wrong doing on her part: arguing and emotionally abusing her daughters.

When you moved out to protect yourself from her abuse, you did the right thing. Although your mother accused you of betrayal, it is she who has been betraying her two daughters. The fact that she believes a great injustice was done to her by your father does not give her the right to mistreat her daughters.

You have three choices, as I understand it to be: to continue to live with your father, to live with your mother and sister or to live independently now, away from either parent. You also brought up your lack of motivation to attend university and your dream of living in Ireland. Between the two parents, reads to me that living with your father is the better choice because he is not the one accusing you of betrayal, and even though you mentioned him becoming more selfish, you didn’t mention mistreatment on his part.

Ireland sounds like the best choice to me, being your dream and being farther away from either parent.

anita