Dear Diyana Zlanatova:

It is a good thing that he is attending therapy and I hope it is indeed helping him. Unfortunately, he needs a whole lot more help and more work. According to your original post he does focus on you being the faulty party to the relationship, and calling you stupid, then threatening to put your stuff out is troubling. His intense anger, described in both posts, is troubling.

You wrote: “I did a lot wrong in that relationship too – I am more of a loner and ignore people sometimes, it is also not nice”-

you are not perfect, I have no doubt. No human is. If you were as perfect as can be, in a relationship with him, he would still have the troubles he is having. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be in a relationship with him, I am thinking, because you would know it is not good for you.

The parts in the relationship that make sense, the sensible moments of insight and good work, those were good moments. Unfortunately, those moments in time are surrounded by a lot of bad moments, no-sense moments, unhealthy moments and lots of them, as I understand the situation.

People often think that unless they are perfect, they cannot be certain that a relationship is bad for them. Problem with this thinking is that people can never be perfect. And so, by this illogic, a person can never evaluate a relationship to be unhealthy.

anita