Dear J.P.,

I do believe that you had tremendous feelings for your ex-fiancee, and that is why you feel this way without her. While this is true, there are ways that you handle that stress poorly. For one, entering into another relationship in an unconscious attempt to fill the void your fiancee left in you creates tension in that relationship. This relationship you are in currently is doomed to fail if you continue feeling this way about your ex and yourself and it will only get worse. The good news is, you can heal yourself and start over.

Step one is forgiving yourself for the mistakes you relive in your past relationship. Forgiveness opens the path to healing yourself and finding yourself. I feel you haven’t done that yet, as you feel despair at possibly never finding anyone who can measure up to your ex in how they make you feel. You’ve yet to heal that wound and it is preventing you from future success with women.

The next step is letting go of this woman you are with currently. You recognize she is a toxic presence in your life, yet you are afraid to leave her because you don’t want to be alone. What you need right now more than anything is to be alone. This is vital for step 1 to actually follow through and work. Like that “November Rain” song. Everybody needs some time on their own, and that includes you, especially now. Focus on you, be happy with you.

The best way to tell her you need to be alone is to… tell her. There is no eloquent way to deal with this. I believe in you J.P.