Dear Mary:

I am glad you posted again. The key with anxiety is once you feel it as you have on this first day in college, is to not panic, to not have the fear escalate. As you start the second day of college tomorrow, expect to feel anxious/ distressed. Do not be surprised, expect and accept it. Then endure it, contain it, let it be just that which it is.

Certain thoughts, for an anxious person, maintain the anxiety. Other thoughts calm the anxiety. Thoughts that maintain and escalate the anxiety are such as: I failed at being calm. I should be calm. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be calm? I thought I made progress, I thought I figured this (anxiety) out, but I guess I didn’t. Is this never going to end? I can’t live like this!

Other thoughts calm anxiety. These would be: I didn’t fail at being calm, it is just that it takes a whole lot of time and a whole lot of work. This anxiety I am feeling is the time to do the work I need to do, to focus on my behavior and show to myself that I can behave reasonably when anxious, that I am in control of my behavior no matter how I feel. There is no such thing as perfect behavior/ performance, no one performs perfectly.

Detect the thoughts belonging to the first group and switch to thoughts belonging to the second group. I hope you post again.

anita