Inky,

I have actually met the other guy, he is someone that she went to school with back in the day. This was early on, and under a very unusual circumstance. I of course lost my head, made a complete ass of myself and said lots of things that I should not have said. I expressed my raw emotions. We have talked about the other side of the coin when and if I would find someone. She has encouraged it and has openly admitted that if she were in my shoes that she would probably not be aable to handle the situation as well as I have handled it. The jealousy has began to diminish as I have taken the time to really look into the roots of what I am worried about. That makes sense about another mans baby. I never thought to actually look at it from that point of view.

Anita,

I thoroughly agree that the change is the reason that I feel better, the freedom from these emotions is liberating. It has given me a way to deal with the depression/pills/family. You know come to think about it all of those things have an extremely similar feelings to the ones with the open relationship.  I mean boil it all down and it is like she is having an affair with prescription pills., or her depression. I was constantly fighting for time or attention. All of those days where I was left alone with the kids for days on end because she just had a ambien script filled and would dose ambien all day and night until the pills were gone.

Right at this moment the thought of finding another woman or having a relationship with another woman hasnt crossed my mind, but maybe subconsciously me accepting an open marriage is a way for me to escape, to find the missing pieces somewhere else.

But I also want my wife to get better and I have a feeling that this may be able to throw a wrench into the pills/depression cycle If it makes her look into the mirror and see a different/better reflection, wouldn’t that be a good thing. Even if it destroys our relationship, I believe that I am willing to take that risk.

Thanks for the responses and the questions and your viewpoints really help me think through this feelings

Matt