Dear lost_star:

It is my understanding that he pushed you away because he is busy earning his salvation, which to him, is the approval of his parents. His well-being, according to his belief, is in his parents approving of him. His mission in life is to win their approval and he will do anything and everything for that aim.

When you, or anyone, tries to divert his attention from his mission, it feels to him like you are preventing him from reaching his salvation, and so, he will push that person away. If you presented this argument to him, what we discussed here, to him, it will be like you trying to block him from the only way for him to reach his salvation. He will shrug his shoulders at best (you said he did), push you away (he did) and otherwise deny, negate, insist what you presented to him is not true.

If you, lost_star, insisted on saving him, and if he let you back into his life, then it would be you seeing his healing as your own salvation. And so, the two of you will be trudging along life, day in and day out, trying to … reach the impossible dream.

anita