@Anita I might have to explain this cheating situation a bit better. Whar basically happened was that I couldn’t tell anyone I was in a relationship because my boyfriend at the time (Adam) believed his Dad was homophobic, and he was afraid of ANYONE, even people who didn’t know him, getting to his Dad and relaying this information. So, when I was 15 (the time of this relationship) I was drunk on New Year’s Eve and I decided to do this because Adam was drinking and I’d never done it before. I was talking to a 20 year old from his dance academy who I’d gotten to know over the week beforehand. I told him I was getting drunk and he still proceeded to play a game called “10 questions” with me (I didn’t know what that was at the time) and the first question he asked me was if I would “take my clothes off for him.” Adam had asked me to screenshot every message that had been sent and send it back to him, which I did. I decided I would lead the guy on in the hopes that he’d leave me alone once he got what he wanted.

He didn’t.

He then sent a nude of himself to me and asked me for one. This is why I say I cheated. I was unhappy in my relationship with Adam, but because I felt responsible for him, I stayed. I kind of wanted to send one back, but, even though I was drunk, I still thought he would go away. I then sent a screenshot of this part of the conversation to Adam and he was under the impression I cheated on him, and the rest of this part of my life is addressed in one of the first posts I made, My Story I believe.

I think I might have misspoke. What I meant to say was that the shame and disgust isn’t BECAUSE I still have that belief, it’s because of the irrational hatred I’ve been dealing with, I just compared it to what I felt after my last relationship, which was shame. I don’t still feel that way, even though I’m still a smidgen bitter when it comes to relationships, and right now sleeping around (not homewrecking, just making that clear) sounds way more attractive to me than “love.”