Anita,

I would answer your questions gladly :

1. It depends. If you are a “nobody” but your partner is “someone” – that makes you “someone” as well. You can be someone before graduating from a prestigious university if you are a very social person that has a lot of connection and helps you get jobs easier. Or you already have a small but very successful business when you are still a student, you are already “someone” as well. Again, the standards of being someone is very wide. Being someone = being successful

2. You are required to have a family in a sense. What is the point of having everything but you have no one to share it? That is very lonely and we considered it worse than not having a job. Especially if you are older than 30 years old, you have to get married. At the very least.

3. My parents are “someone” – they are well educated. Considering how most of Asians (older generations) does not really have a good education, but my grandfather was the first person in my country to have a scholarship and study at UCLA. This was back in 1950s. It was a big deal. My family is known as a family that puts education and prestige as a very important thing. My parents and my grandparents all graduated with masters degree.

You can imagine the shock of my family hearing how I want to give up my whole education for my husband. For a man.

As if it is a bad thing.

I do not think that you completely understand, Anita.

The only reason why I want to be someone is because I want to marry someone as well.

I won’t continue being “someone” as I will give up my profession for my husband, as I have wrote above.

I will the one supporting “someone” which is my own husband.

Am I content with my parents being “someone”?

At some point, yes. People tends to respect me. I enjoy the spotlight of my parents.

I enjoy the fact that I am pretty well off so I can travel and shop when I want to.

That I have a lot of privileges that others do not have.

Does it feels my heart with love?

No. You know this already. My parents does loves me, I am aware of that. They just have a hard time expressing themselves.

They think that “love” is forcing their child to be as successful as possible. I do not blame them, I understand.

I won’t teach my kids the same. I will try to teach them kindness and openness.

-Mina