Dear Claire:

If he was an understanding, compassionate man, I would imagine that he would have understood the difficult situation you were in, that you found out your boyfriend is married, that you found out that he is married because he didn’t tell you for a few months. He would have understood the hurt, confusion and distress. And if he did, maybe he wouldn’t be as judgmental of you as he is.

After all, he is not free from wrongdoing or from making mistakes.

At the time, again, I imagine you felt betrayed and confused and you needed emotional support, so you reached out to her by sharing that personal information. It was not with the intent of hurting him, as I understand it to be.

I wonder why he married her (if he did to help her legally and for no other reason), since his compassion my not be his strongest point. Do you know why he did?

anita