Dear Helena:

Regarding number 1, in your original post you wrote: “Intelectually he wouldn’t stimulate me. I would end up explaining things to him or we’d talk about more superficial things…” There is nothing superficial about him getting you a 100%. Emotional understanding is rare and this is probably why you didn’t experience it before. Intellectual understanding, on the other hand, is way more common, and indeed, like you suggested, you can get that from others, intellectual understanding on this or that topic.

Regarding number 2, you wrote: “through meditation, mindfulness and yoga, I have been able to create more space around my anxiety. I have grown.” On the other hand, reading your second post, I see confusion and lack of clarity, not calm and clarity following your practice of meditation and so forth. Perhaps the space you created was so only in the context of your alone practice, but in the context of a relationship, it did not serve you well, so far.

Maybe past struggles/ conflict, before you met your boyfriend, came to the surface, filling in that space you mentioned and it is those struggles, that conflict that stood between you and him, blocking that easy flow of exchange that was before?

anita