My parents had a love marriage but for as long as I can remember, it was an unhappy one. My father was unfaithful and after a point it was more than clear that he wasn’t invested in the relationship at all. Although he was never an abusive father, he’s walked out on us quite a few times and disappeared for months together.

As a kid I guess I was stronger in coping with this, because I saw my mother suffering and I guess I didn’t want her to worry about me on top of all that she had going on in her life. But as I’ve grew older and started dating (and I believe my ex played a big role in triggering this) I grew paranoid of being cheated on and abandoned.

Yet, the thing that nags me all the time in my head is that I’ve never been physically invested with any other girl before, and the fact that she has been with other people. I want to make it clear that I don’t think she’s promiscuous for having been with multiple people in her life or anything. I wasn’t her first but she was mine and it never really bothered me before. It started bothering me after the aforementioned hookups she had.

I can understand my parents relationship leaving me anxious about being cheated on, but I don’t see how it could be driving my main concern here..