Hello this is my first post. I hope to reach out to someone who has overcome or guide me to the right way of handling this. Im a 29 year old female. I’ve been in long term relationships since I was 16. I’ve had a few long term relationships but my last two have had the most impact on me. I dated a guy once that every time we broke up he would run to a dating site or his ex girlfriend. Any little argument, he would end things. We lasted almost 3 years with this same crap. At one point he proposed to try and prove himself but that never ended. I ended that relationship rollercoaster. Shortly after, I dated another guy which we weren’t suppose to end up serious but we did. We met within a month of ending the rollercoaster relationship. I did want to move to fast but somehow it did. We moved in together within 3 months. The first week I moved in, a girl had reach out to me on social media claiming my ex was asking for pictures of her behind. She should be screenshot and I confronted him about it. He admit it was all true. I believe this is really when my insecurities and trust issues developed. I didn’t end the relationship. Instead, I gave it another shot. A year went back of fight all the time because I didn’t trust him and just wasn’t happy with myself. I started noticing when he would glance at other woman. I don’t know if I ever dealt with this before but I notice it now. I hated it. Anyways, a year went by and I caught him again talking and deleting messages behind my back with another girl. He never wanted to show me the messages because he claims he didn’t want to hurt me. Well this amplified my doubts, insecurities, everything. I was so confused and this time I couldn’t get passed this. I ended the relationship. I moved back home and for the next 3 months I focus on myself. I wanted to lose weight and be happy again. I lose 25 lbs and was ok where I was.

This is when my current boyfriend reach out to me on Facebook and asked me out on a date. I agreed and didn’t think much of it. We hit it off immediately. We know each other from middle school. He was my first boyfriend in middle school and dated again in high school. We had an immediately connection. We talked for a few weeks before we made it official. He does make me very happy. I falling head over heels. But I’ve notice that the harder I am falling the more scared I am. I seem to have a fear of getting hurt. There isn’t anything bad I can say about this guy. We’ve been together for 4 months and it has been the best 4 months of my life.

However, I am battling insecurities daily. I scared if I gain weight I might lose him. The other day I caught myself looking at him to see if he checks out other girl. He does glance when a beautiful woman walk by or a girl with a nice body but he every affectionate and doesn’t give me a reason to be upset. But why does it bother me so much that he even glance at another attractive girl. These are insecurities I had in my last relationship because he my ex’s mistake. I feel that I have what I finally want and I still have fears from my previous relationship. I read articles online and they say it normal for guys to look at other woman but that it our insecurities that make us compare it to us. I can’t seem to get past this. Is it normal? How can I get over my insecurities? Any Advice?