Dear Carla:

Well, you don’t believe it is true that he “NEVER think of anyone other than (himself)”, if you believed that, you wouldn’t also “know, deep down, that (you were) important to him”. When we are angry, we think in extreme terms. When calm we are able to think more realistically. This means that (as I wrote earlier) at times he may have felt guilty as a motivation to be in a relationship with you. But those were only at times. At other times he was in the relationship with you because you were important to him.

When we are angry we make believe that something that is true some of the time, or in part, is true all of the time and completely.

You wrote that his parents died in a homicide/ suicide event, any details about that, what lead to it and his experience with it?

anita