Hi Matt,

Although you failed High School, life is not over, life will give you so many chances of you allow it. Perhaps look into getting a mentor. Someone you can confide in and trust, open up to, some one who will listen to you. Whether it is a counselor, pastor, social worker, etc. When you are thinking of hurting yourself, please contact a crisis line, they are all trained volunteers who want to help you. Your call will be completely anonymous. I also feel you are suffering from severe clinical depression and anxiety. This can’t be willed or wished away, as it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Before you do anything, get screened for depression and anxiety, bi-polar, etc. They may out you on medications. Please don’t be like me and go years without being on medication. Don’t suffer. Once I was out on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, I was in the Psychiatric ward in the hospital for suicidal ideation. If it were not for a friend intervention, I would not be here today typing this to you.

I have no family. I’m on Social security Disability, and live in a city alone with few friends. But I keep going, stay busy, help people, take classes, work with animals. Many people have it worse than you. Someone out there, many people, have it worse than me. We just have to find what our passion is and enjoy it to the best of our ability. I know life isn’t always fair, but it’s how we look at life, to make it all worthwhile, not at what life and the world, people, things, etc do to us.

You can turn things around. You can get your GED. There are alot of jobs out there. Don’t give up. Take it one day at a time. However, you can’t do this, in the state of mind you are in, when wanting to die all the time. This is why I am suggesting starting off with quality Psychotherapy, and medication, and mental health screening. The meds, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, will give you the motivation you need for getting things together for yourself. I hope you feel better soon.