Dear luong:

She told you: “you’re suffocating me”.

Problem with the letter you are considering sending her at some point is that you are  continuing to suffocate her (her word):

“You became the spark that started my journey to personal growth. I may have never taken the risk to start this without your help”- you are placing her as the spark of your current life, being helped by her now, even without her presence in your life. And so, you are letting her know that she is still your spark, still your focus.

“Our relationship may be over but the love we once shared will be eternal..you will always be my first love and I won’t forget that…I could not forget us…Our memories have since been engraved into my very being…”- you are letting her know that in her absence she is still present in your life, as you still love her, whether she wants that love or not.

“Let’s grow to be we can be; we owe it to ourselves. We will do great things”- you are letting her know that in your mind, you and she are still a unit, a “we”. Again, whether she wants there to be a we or not.

You wrote: “Not a day goes by where I don’t miss you and want to reach out to you. I stop myself every time” – this letter is that reaching out to her, wanting to continue the relationship. Better stop yourself.

Clearly you are still emotionally attached to her, understandably. She meant a lot to you and still does. Unfortunately, the relationship is over, her choice. It really is over. This letter is not congruent with a “journey to personal growth”. Such a journey starts without her.

My suggestion is to not send this letter.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings.

anita