Dear  Tina:

It  is scary to share one’s feelings and  not get a response, to get ignored. Or to get a response indicating one’s  feelings are  not important. It is scary because  it hurts and we are scared  of pain.

All the painful experience of past does  not make  us  immune to pain, it  makes  us fear  it more.

This is why it is important to be selective, to  thoughtfully choose who we communicate  with and  to what extent. Start very small, a very small communication and see how the person responds. If the person does  not respond, try a second  time perhaps, something small (every person in the world is  sometimes inattentive, busy with their own anxiety, own worries, so better give a person two or a few opportunities).

If the person you communicate with responds abusively the first time,  better not try again.

If the person responds positively, communicate again, something small. Over time share bigger things with such a person. Listen to him/ her when he shares and respond honestly and positively. Reciprocate what you expect from the other person.

Share responsibly, not going on and on and  on about your pain, crying a whole lot, because that is too much for people to take (psychotherapists are trained to listen to people who are very emotional without drowning  in their misery, and they do so only fifty minutes per session- but people otherwise are not trained that way and without a time limit, it  is too much for them).

You are welcome to share here. I will soon be away from the computer and be back in 17-18 hours or so. When I come back, if I find that you shared, that you communicated here on your thread, I will respond and respond positively. You can  start with  something small  (for the  practice of it), and following my response, if you approve of it, you can share more. I will respond again and so forth.

anita