Dear Teddy:

If you only had one girlfriend then it must be the same one you wrote about February this year. There you repeatedly stated that she is selfish. You wrote: “The relationship was all about pleasing her.. She complains a lot about everything… I will try and adjust to make her happy only for her to come up with another complaint…. (and) another one. I was always offending her for things I don’t know. I started becoming too sensitive to everything because I don’t know if I have done anything wrong or not… We did not go three straight days without having one of those quarrels. It really affected me a lot… The more I try the more the hurdles get higher. She was only happy and caring only when I do and act in a way she wants.. I know what it means to be loved I never felt it. It seems I was just giving and giving I have myself away.”

Ten months later, today, you mention none of the above.

Back to February this year: “We have broken up like three times before this last time. But she will always beg I should take her back and so on.”

After your last thread you took her back into your life and broke up again June this year. Now you are considering getting back together… yet again.

Back to February, you wrote: “I will tell her always … that she is not making me happy. But she never asked for once what makes me happy.”

And so I ask: what is it that will make you happy?

anita

Dear Teddy:

You mentioned your “job, Biblical work… a NO SEX relationship till you get married”- if you consider marriage, perhaps you can attend pre marital counseling with her, seeing a pastor of the church you attend, if you are attending a church?

In such counseling you can examine if a marriage with her will be a good choice, and if so, how such a marriage will operate… if such a marriage is to take place.

anita