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ROCD help me

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  • #185617
    Saya
    Participant

    I’ve been struggling with rocd for almost 4 months now and I’ve just become completely exhausted and depressed by the constant overthinking and checking if I still love my bf. I’ve had a few depressive episodes where I just finally accept it as reality and i plan to break up with my bf and it’s the most unbearable pain (suicidal ideation as well) but I feel like when I enter those episodes it’s like a weight has been lifted off me. I’m feeling a bit better now (still mild-moderate depression) but I still have that awful weight on my chest that I’m just not in love with him and that breaking up is the right thing to do which makes me feel like this all true I can’t even say that Im in love with him anymore because of all this torture I’m just so exhausted and I’m so afraid that maybe I’m getting these depressive episodes as a way of my brain essentially forcing me to break up with him. If he messages me and I feel happy my brain is just like “don’t forget you’re not in love with him anymore” or “you’re lying to him he deserves better”

    Please someone help has anyone had this weight on their chest it doesn’t even give me anxiety anymore I’m just so exhausted and tired and I feel like I just want to give up and end this all I’m so fed up

    #185627
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Saya:

    The relief you feel when you think of ending the relationship is about ending the obsession. The obsession is painful. It is a painful way to live, as you well know.

    If you are not currently attending psychotherapy and working on this, then you do need to end this obsession somehow. It is better to not be in a relationship with him than it is to be obsessed, I am thinking.

    anita

    #185663
    Saya
    Participant

    You think I should break up with him ? 🙁

    #185717
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Saya:

    Yes, I do. So to stop this suffering you are experiencing. And to prevent him from suffering anymore from your obsession.

    Again, unless you attend quality psychotherapy to manage this obsession and start the healing process from the anxiety that is fueling this obsession.

    anita

    #211235
    Xenia
    Participant

    Saya, how are you feeling? I am going through the same thing and there are days when I think I can’t just take it anymore. I don’t want to leave him but I want a relief. This is a torture.

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