Hi Eliana-

I was kind of thinking that, I just didn’t want to influence anyone by using terms. I started suspecting about 2 years ago, but when we are together, I think maybe I am wrong. He is a different person when we are together. But this morning make it clear I need to leave. He did contact me again to call me an “idiot” for asking for proof of threats of violence. He never answered me or provided proof.

Hi Anita-

The reason I didn’t give a specific example is because it was political in nature. He told me he hates immigrants and I am the product of immigrants. He has called me racial epithets and then told me to lighten up when I asked him to stop. Another time in the middle of a silent treatment, my grandmother had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and even then, he didn’t stop his silent treatment. He never mentioned it or asked about her.

I have no idea why he accused me of physical threats. I was turning this over and over as I was out on my walk. I think it is because I don’t like violence, because my mom used to beat me. He thinks she’s a monster and doesn’t know why I still talk to her. I think he might think he is insulting me by comparing me to my mom, maybe?

I have told him many times that it makes me upset that I don’t feel heard and acknowledged. He just ignores it. I have asked him to listen to me and acknowledge me. It makes me really upset and I try to get him to engage.