Did you know why your former spouse cheated?  What was the reason?  What was lacking for her in order to do that?  If you don’t know then find out.  That would be useful information to help you get past this wound.  What was your part in the dissolution of the marriage?  Taking responsibility would also be useful for you in order to move forward.

It is good that you are communicating with your wife but it is not a good idea dwell on whether or not you are a attractive (good) enough husband.  Put your energies toward loving your wife and make sure if that is the kind of loving she wants.  Look up the Five Languages of Love in helping to determine that.  Get to know why your wife values about you and do more of that.

Some suggested ways of how you keep your marriage alive and thriving.  See the link:http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/g3214/25-things-every-marriage-needs/

Mark