Dear Jen:

There are a few things I didn’t understand. If you would like to share further, please do:

In your original post you wrote that he expressed to you that “he was worried that we never fought”- meaning he considers fighting a needed part of a loving, committed relationship? He … wants fights?

In your post to me you wrote: “His decisions are usually very rational or very irrational, but nothing in between”. Can you give an example of a very rational decision he has made, and one of a very irrational one?

What I did understand is that you presented to him the concept of working together to help each other and that he responded well but does not initiate any such work. You feel that you are the only initiator, the fixer  or therapist of the two of you.

Back to what he told you (original post), he told you that he doesn’t feel in love with you, that he has commitment issues, a resistance he called it, and that he needs to figure out this resistance. Did he say how he was going to figure it out; did he share anything about that resistance?

anita