Dear Brenin:

You are welcome. I doubt very much that the 11 year old is oblivious to the situation he is living in. This is how he deals with it, that is all, not paying attention best he can. Your daughter is negatively affected. The situation needs to change.

It is nice, I suppose, that your wife cleans regularly and cooks well. It does not make her a loving woman, a good wife or a good mother. When people see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist for anxiety and depression as do many millions of people, does a single person of the many millions state that not having a clean-enough home or a daily cooked meal is in the core of their misery?

I don’t know. Maybe one, maybe a few worldwide.

Safety in the home is necessary for a person’s health, for a person’s emotional well being, be it a child or an adult. You need to feel safe having a differing opinion from hers. You need to feel safe initiating a simple purchase, safe talking to people. You need not live in a war zone.

You wrote that she is a terrific mother, meaning she takes care of the children very physical needs, correct? She takes care of your physical needs as well, doesn’t make her a terrific wife, does it?

Did your therapist suggest that you bring your wife with you for a couple session or sessions? Or that you see another therapist with your wife as a couple, if so, what was your wife’s response?

anita