Thank you everyone for your responses.

My wife has been adamant about saying she is there for me and supportive. I’ve told her it’s hard to move forward when void of emotion. I’ve stayed in the house, trying to seem okay for the kids and tried to see the positivity. I’ve hugged her, cuddled her and made her know that I love her, I just can’t seem to bring myself around emotionally. There is no romantic feelings toward her.

She has said a few hurtful things out of insecurity I imagine, fear of losing me – saying I don’t care, or that I’m not being empathetic or sympathetic to her feelings. She sends me articles about fixing marriages, and depression that I read – but I find when we discuss what is going on it ends up being a blame game. She takes jabs, then later says that she didn’t mean it. She shouldn’t have said it, which makes the trust even harder to rebuild. In a time where I am in an emotional crisis, she is continuing the behavior that made me pull away to begin with. I’ve been attempting to be transparent, and telling her how I feel and she is taking offence to it. I get that it is upsetting, and I totally put myself in her shoes. She mentioned that she’s trying to stop me from ruining our lives, that this situation is f***ing up the kids, her and me, that if I cheat she’ll take the kids, that I’m not empathetic, that I don’t care and that I’m not doing anything to help the situation – meanwhile I’ve been reading daily, seeking help from a counselor, discussing on boards similar to this, etc. When I tell her I do care, that I haven’t left, that I’m trying to find myself and have ground to stand on, she reverts back to “I do know you care.” It’s very confusing.  A culture has been created where I don’t feel safe sharing my feelings with her, but she is consistently saying if I had just shared my feelings we wouldn’t be at this point.

I’m feeling very trapped. I don’t know if I want this marriage anymore. I was so young when we got together, I’ve spent 10 years becoming devoid of myself, and I feel very low. She blames it on depression, but when I’m not around her I don’t feel depressed. I just want to be happy, and have a happy life for my kids.

Very lost. Again, I appreciate all of your support.