Dear calisister:

Your post above makes a lot of sense to me. The director- I loved every word he said to you. If his behavior is congruent with what he told you, and I assume it is, he is a great resource for you, a huge plus, and one good reason to go in. I am so impressed by what he told you, his understanding, having been there, where you are, understanding, supportive. Of course he has work to do and is not available for you as a personal one-on-one coach or friend, but you can be honest with him, have a few moments with him here and there. He understands and will accommodate you, like he said. My goodness, what a resource!

I wrote to you recently, after you came up with the break idea, that I will not be disappointed if you change your mind, and I am not. If you did take a break, it would have been a challenge, and I don’t know if it would have worked out for you. It would have created stressors like what to do with your time and the money issue. You don’t need more stress.

You did function well enough in the past even though anxious, so you can function well in the coming rotation as well. You have experience anxious and functioning well.

Your routine scheduling reads fine to me. Cutting down on social activities reads excellent to me, a very good idea, the seeking out of such. Also, be assertive with people here on your thread and elsewhere in your life. You are not obligated to communicate with anyone who wants to communicate with you. You don’t have to answer questions. You don’t have to respond to anyone. And you can state to a person: I am not interested in your input. Please do not communicate with me again.

Be selective. And assertive.

Regarding your three core beliefs you listed. Here is my voice:

1. You can do this!

2. You do understand!

3. You know a whole lot!

* It occurred to me just now that your director may be able to suggest to you what kind of help he received (and may still be receiving) for his mental health challenge, who you may be able to see, what has clearly worked for him. What already worked for him may work for you too, things to consider.

anita