Dear Buddi:

To proceed from here, I suggest the following:

1. No longer expecting life to be fair because it is not.

When we believe something that is not true to reality, we suffer. When we understand what is true to reality, we feel better and live more effectively. If you expect Mike to suffer because of mistreating you, because life is supposed to be fair, you will suffer as you see that … it doesn’t happen.

Accept it best you can. No consequences coming to him because he hurt you. Best you can do is to not give him yet another opportunity to hurt you.

If life was fair, you wouldn’t have had the childhood that you had, he wouldn’t have had the childhood that he had, and both of you separately or together would be in loving relationships at the present.

2. Focus on parenting your son well. Try to motivate your husband to be gentle with your son as I suggested earlier.

3. Consider ending your marriage, as it is a living arrangement, nothing more, is it?

4. Attend quality psychotherapy is such is possible for you.

5. Consider future dating, when single, no longer married. Consider dating that will not interfere with you being an effective mother to your son. In such dating, get to know men, as friends first. Get to know their nature so to choose to get involved only with a man capable of loving you well, a man who is honest with you, trustworthy, reliable.

It is possible for you to love and be loved in return, if you are able to learn who a man is, and choose one capable and willing to love you in return.

anita