Dear Anita

Thank you for this patience with me. I know I’m going in circles. I was exhausted yesterday, since Wednesday I  slept maybe 4 h at night and couldn’t eat. First time in months I woke up to a panic attack. Today’s better.

Where’s the reasonable hope? You always talk about not hoping, not thinking about a person as the one to save me. I always seek someone to take care of me, because I feel I’m unable to take care of myself. I need someone to hug me and tell me it’s gonna be okay. I hate that I need it. How to change it? Where to find hope in myself?