Dear limbolady:

I think you should incorporate another element to your decision making and that is your motivation to not “get stuck in a relationship (you) couldn’t escape”-the motivation you mentioned in the second line of your original share. This has been a powerful motivation in your life, one that kept you single, not in a relationship, until your mid thirties.

Taking into account this strong motivation, I agree with the friends who told you that you will “be having doubts in whatever relationship (you) were in”.

The behaviors you described on his part, wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me, that is, if he didn’t break furniture in your presence more than once and then promised not to do it again.. keeping his promise. And if upon your recommendation, he stops verbally abusing his exes on the phone, or anyone.

Would you like to elaborate on the motivation, to not get stuck… was that a result of you having been stuck in a relationship before ( not with a boyfriend clearly, since you didn’t have one before)?

anita