Dear limbolady:

You are welcome. After reading your most recent post I feel more confident that indeed you will “be having doubts in whatever relationship (you) were in”, just like some of your friends said.

As long as there is an imperfection in a man, an imperfection in his friends, any imperfection, there will be doubts. And, no doubt in my mind… there is no perfect man out there.

The fear of making the wrong decisions, no easy way to resolve this fear, or any other fear that is significant and persistent. This fear leads many to religions that provide strict rules on what to do and what not to do. But you lost faith in that external power, god, to know what you should do or not do.

I suggest starting small and building up this skill, of making good choices. Accept imperfection in your choice making and aim at making progress. Start small, with decisions that don’t carry much of a consequence in your life, as in choosing what to wear in the morning, whether to do laundry today or tomorrow, such small choices and make them thoughtfully. Pay attention to how your choosing materializes, how it serves you and how it may not serve you. For example, if you didn’t take a jacket with you on a cold day, make a mental note to take one the next day.

Make thoughtful small choices and over time, you will feel more confident in making bigger choices.

anita