Dear Louisalou:

Regarding blocking him on Facebook, maybe it is a good idea. Regarding to “take it round like my friends have suggested” – I didn’t understand.

You wrote that you are “stuck in this limbo of trying to accept it’s over and clinging on the hope he’s working things out and will contact me when he’s ready”-

I think that you are stuck between accepting reality and wishful thinking. In other words, you are stuck between reality and fantasy. In reality he is not ready and cannot be ready for anything that you need. He is a very troubled man, stuck in addiction. He is not in a temporary state of un-readiness for a relationship.

I understand that it is very painful for you, that you wish it wasn’t so, that you don’t feel like doing what needs to be done, but I hope you move on anyway, little by little, day by day. It will be painful for a while. You can take breaks from that pain in different healthy ways: exercise, hot baths, relaxing music and so on. Following those breaks the pain will resume. Can’t get rid of it.

Accept that pain best you can and it will weaken over time until one day, it will be gone.

Post again anytime. I will soon be away from the computer for about fifteen hours.

anita