Dear Amber:

I suppose she is quite predictable: you can expect her to be loving when she is okay with your choices and to withdraw with anger when she is not okay with your choices. It is a very conditional love- she loves you if you live her way and only for as long as you do.

You wrote that you are “the type to forgive and forget”- better not forget lesson learned and be surprised and hurt the next time she withdraws and the next. Better remember what needs to be remembered so to protect yourself from hurts of all kinds.

Your sister already has a life that she can and should live her way, and that is her own life. She has no right to yours.

anita